Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My 29 levels

No, not a recounting of my last romp through Doom (version infinity). Levels of self-revelation. Oh my!

Stolen from lillasyster's life blog, although she says she stole it from Nicholas. Who knows. It all just seems so desperately inbred. Anyway, here's mine.

Level 1
( ) Smoked a cigarette. (Smoked some dope in my time, never tobacco.)
( ) Smoked a cigar.
(x) Kissed a member of the same sex. (Family/friends, not sexual kisses.)
(x) Drank alcohol. (Regularly with vast enjoyment.)

Level 2
(x) Are/been in love. (For a coupla decades now.)
(x) Been dumped.
( ) Shoplifted.
( ) Been fired.
(x) Been in a fist fight. (Not for decades.)

Level 3
(x) Had a crush on an older person.
(x) Skipped school.
(x) Slept with a classmate. (In college. I went to an all-male prep school.)
(x) Seen someone/something die. (My mother, from emphysema. Wanna go back to talking about smoking?)

Level 4
( ) Had/have a crush on one of your friends who is now on Facebook. (I don't do Facebook.)
( ) Been to Paris.
( ) Been to Spain.
(x) Been on a plane. (At the controls, too. Pilot's license – PP-ASEL.)
(x) Thrown up from drinking.

Level 5
(x) Eaten sushi. (Don't really like most of it.)
( ) Been snowboarding. (Skiing dude. Boarding is too nouveaux for me.)
( ) Met someone BECAUSE of Facebook. (I told you I don't do Facebook)
( ) Been in a mosh pit.

Level 6
( ) Been in an abusive relationship.
(x) Taken pain killers. (Love 'em. Methaqualone rules.)
(x) Love/loved someone you can’t have.
(x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
(x) Made a snow angel.

Level 7
(x) Had a tea party.
(x) Flown a kite.
(x) Built a sand castle.
(x) Gone mudding (offroading). (If dirtbiking counts. Come to think of it, guess I've been three-wheeling a coupla times.)
(x) Played dress up.

Level 8
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.
(X) Gone sledging. (Sledding? Yeah. I ain't never played no freakin' cricket and done "sledging.")
(x) Cheated while playing a game.
(x) Been lonely.
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school. (When both girls were babies, frequently.)

Level 9
(x) Watched the sun set. (Also see Level 17.)
(x) Felt an earthquake.
(x) Killed a snake. (Vipers, not serpents.)

Level 10
(x) Been tickled.
(x) Been robbed/vandalized.
(x) Been cheated on.
(x) Been misunderstood.

Level 11
( ) Won a contest.
(x) Been suspended from school. (In junior year, my entire class got a 3-day suspension for an obscene football cheer we created for a cheer contest. The winners of the contest won – Wait for it! - ONE day off. Ha!)
(x) Had detention. (I once got *indefinite* penance hall at my prep school. They let me out of it after a month or so.)
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident. (Both.)

Level 12
( ) Had/have braces.
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night. (I've done an entire half gallon in one night.)
(x) Danced in the moonlight. (Yeah! King Harvest rocks! It's a supernatural delight!)

Level 13
(x) Hated the way you look.
(x) Witnessed a crime.
( ) Pole danced.
(x) Questioned your heart.
(x) Been obsessed with post-it-notes.

Level 14
(x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
(x) Been lost.
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world.
(x) Swam in the ocean.
(x) Felt like you were dying.

Level 15
( ) Cried yourself to sleep.
(x) Played cops and robbers.
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
(x) Sang karaoke. (Also played in an actual rock band in the 60s.)
( ) Paid for a meal with only coins.

Level 16
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
(x) Made prank phone calls.
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(x) Kissed in the rain.

Level 17
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
(x) Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared about. (In the Caribbean, too! Perfect. And coming to an island at dawn after an overnight sail is one of Ronnie's favorite times, especially when she's at the helm!)
(x) Blown bubbles.
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach or anywhere.

Level 18
(x) Crashed A Party.
(x) Have travelled more than 5 days with a car full of people. (10 weeks on our longest roadtrip.)
(x) Gone rollerskating/blading.
(x) Had a wish come true.
( ) Slept with a member of the same sex.

Level 19
( ) Worn pearls.
(x) Jumped off a bridge.
( ) Screamed “penis” or “vagina”. (Does yelling, "You fucking *dick*!" or "You *pussy*!" count?)
(x) Swam with dolphins.

Level 20
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube.
(x) Kissed a fish. (Hard to avoid the aggressive ones in the Caymans. I'm not kidding.)
( ) Worn the opposite sex’s clothes.
(x) Sat on a roof top. (For fun and profit.)

Level 21
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
(x) Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel. (I was a nationally competitive gymnast in school. Wanna see me do a fliffis?)
( ) Talked on the phone for more than six hours (in one day). (I hate the phone.)
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about.

Level 22
(x) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
(x) Climbed a tree.
(x) Had/been in a tree house.
( ) Been scared to watch scary movies alone.

Level 23
( ) Believed in ghosts. (I don't believe in *any* supernatural boojums, gods included.)
(x) Have had more than thirty pairs of shoes (not necessarily all at once).
( ) Gone streaking.
(x) Visited jail. (Been in jail, often – Civil Rights era.)

Level 24
(x) Played chicken. (Played Mark Twain, too.)
(x) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
(x) Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger. (60s rocker, baby! Easy, easy money. Easy, easy chicks.)
( ) Broken a bone.
(x) Been easily amused.

Level 25
(x) Caught a fish then ate it later.
( ) Made a porn video. (Only with your momma.)
(x) Caught a butterfly.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
( ) Cried so hard you laughed.

Level 26
(x) Mooned/flashed someone.
(x) Had someone moon/flash you.
(x) Cheated on a test.
(x) Forgotten someone’s name. (Often. Ok, usually.)
( ) French braided someone’s hair.
(x) Gone skinny dipping.
( ) Been kicked out of your house.
( ) Tried to hurt yourself.

Level 27
(x) Rode a roller coaster. (Love 'em.)
(x) Went scuba-diving/snorkelling. (I'm a PADI Divemaster.)
(x) Had a cavity.
( ) Black-mailed someone.
( ) Been black mailed.

Level 28
(x) Been used.
(x) Fell going up the stairs.
( ) Licked a cat. (Ummmnnn, no thanks!)
(x) Bitten someone.
(x) Licked someone - not in private places… (Private places, too.)

Level 29
(x) Been shot at/or at gunpoint.
(x) Had sex in the rain. (As Herodotus mostly said: (Relax! I'll do it in English. Sometimes I'll inflict Latin on y'all but I'll spare you the Classical Greek!) Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor darkness of night can stop me from doin' what I gotta do.)
( ) Flattened someone’s tires.
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on. (Frequently.)
(x) Got five dollars or less worth of gas. (Hey! When gas was $0.30/gal, that was a LOT of gas.)

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