Monday, October 13, 2008

Awwww, what a great story!

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming stories in email. Finally, I have one of my own to share...

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.


  1. I was going to say I was touched, but I think *you're* a little touched. :-)

    I kept expecting elephant piss, so I was kinda relieved the story wasn't about peepee by the gallons.

  2. Sandra, me too! I just knew there was something about elephant urination coming.

    What do you suppose is wrong with us? :-)

  3. And see, I figured that 20 years later, Peter would -- for whatever reason -- be blind, and this would turn into a Blind Man and The Elephant story ...

  4. Simon and I laughed aloud! Thank you...

  5. Very Bergsonian of y'all to inteject your perceptual universe into my story. What do these comments say about you, huh?

    If I were to have used a sophomoric, bathroom-hunor ending it would have been scatalogical not micturative and there would have been a pseudointellectual jeremiad about relative fecal deposits among modern mammals and some paleontological pandering and maundering about coprolites. Lots and lots of coprolites. A veritable cornucopia of coprolites. Ahhhh, now there's an image...