Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Google meme

Cori and Jerry did this so how can I not? Hope y'all are having fun, my little nephew-son, niece-daughter-in-law, and pseudo-grandkid Mollypop!

1- Type in "[your name] needs" in Google search:
Frank needs wheels.
Ok. I love cars and even if I don't wanna change from MR-2 to something else, MR-2 would enjoy some 16-inch, lightweight wheels. And tires. Don't forget the value of nice, sticky tires.

2- Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Frank looks like at least two crazy people.
Yep. I'm sooooooo wacky, it takes AT LEAST TWO ordinary crazy people to equal me. They sure got me on that one.

3- Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Frank says he'll file a bill to legalize marijuana.
Hey! Good for me.

4- Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
Frank has a Wall Street Journal column.
I seriously doubt that that Capitalist propaganda rag would ever print anything I had to say. Eat the rich!

5- Type in "[your name] wants" in google search
Frank wants Gerard's babies!
Fascinating, especially since I took this meme from Cori/Jerry (Gerard)! [insert Twilight Zone music] That already makes me pseudo-grandpa to Mollypop.

6- Type in "[your name] gives" in Google search:
Frank gives dad a Cadillac.
No fucking way I would ever do that to my sweet daddy! A Porsche, Acura, Lexus, even a Toyota, but never a Cadillac. Ick!

7- Type in "[your name] takes" in Google search:
Frank takes a bath and is filmed by Louie.
Hmmmmnnn, Is Louie short for Louise and is she an attractive woman? Otherwise, I'm thinking: NO!

8- Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
Frank loves MRirian.
Chloe is the Anime person in this household; but I do love horror movies and apparently that's what she really is - viral marketing for a horror movie.

Hot Dinosaur Sex

or: This is my brain when it's not on drugs
(Scary thought, huh?)

Interesting that this throwaway phrase spawned so much commentary. Y'all are just *obsessive*! That's all I have to say. I guess I should explain myself a bit so there's no confusion in the future and/or no misconceptions.

Here's the 411, straight from the eohippus's mouth:

However, I dunno whether I should begin by explaining my original concept or by responding to the assumptions/guesses posted about this phrase. Ok, I think I'll first discuss my mental state and conceptualizations when I spoke the phrase. Then, I'll respond to your helpful, kind, supportive, inquisitive comments. [You freaks! – Oh, did I actually type that? Sorry.]

First, my conceptualization has/had nothing to do with either my age or the fact that dinos are now just static, rock-hard bones. In my thoughts, dinos are alive, vibrant, and as active as any animal in today's world. I guess that's actually technically true cuz birds are really just one class (order?) of dinosaurs so there are furiously active dinosaurs outside my window as I type. Hiya, guys! Had any hot sex lately?

Many dinosaur species were, as the original paleontologists imagined them, warm-blooded, active, energetic animals who filled every significant niche in their day. So where did that lameass sluggish-reptile concept come from? Dumbshit Victorians, of course. The Victorians, completely inaccurately, imposed their sociological weltanschauung on the conceptualization of these magnificent creatures. Victorians believed that, generally speaking, there was a divinely-mandated continuous improvement in everything, including which species ruled the earth. They therefore imposed the *necessity* of slow, stupid, cold-bloodedness on the dinosaurs because they were the temporal predecessors of us mammals. After all, we mammals totally replaced those icky old dinosaurs, didn't we? Therefore, we wonderful, warm-blooded, divinely-mandated miracles must have been replacing some silly, old, low-IQ reptilian dumbasses.

Unfortunately, this concept had no congruence with reality. Before the age of dinos there were protodinosaurs and protomammals and they were pretty equally represented on the good earth. The protodinosaurs proceeded to COMPLETELY beat out the protomammals for all the good niches. That's why there were only small, timid mammals during the age of dinos! Not because we mammals were just coming into our own as the dinos were sinking into senescence but because the protodinos beat the shit out of the protomammals in the competition for niches. Period. The only niches mammals were capable of surviving in were the insignificant ones.

Mammals got their opportunity to take over when the dinos were completely wiped out. And not because of competitive pressure from mammals. Oh no, dear readers. External causes. Or internal. Take your pick. Most folks these days like the meteor theory. Whatever the cause, an open, significantly uncompetitive world is what allowed mammals to take over all the cool niches, not the mammals' own competitive capabilities.

I find it utterly fascinating that the Victorians relied on their concept of Christianity as a cornerstone for the idea of consistent improvement in all things while present-day YECs try to shoehorn biology into compliance with the second law of thermodynamics [Hint – It doesn't fit. You must acquit!] because of their concept of Christianity which requires that everything, especially good ol' biological humanity, is wearing out and becoming less robust than it used to be because of our fall from grace and expulsion from the garden of Eden, where the dinosaurs no doubt roamed as free as the birds they would one day become, although YECs would naturally deny the possibility of such evolution, and the deer and the antelope played and where the only discouraging word was from the YECs' version of daddy Tetragrammaton bullying his children about what they could and could not eat. Sheesh! Obviously He was not an unschooler.

Where was I? Oh yeah…

So when I think "dinosaur" I'm thinking fast, agile, powerful, ruler of all he surveys, dominant, majestic, regal, intelligent, etc. And such an august creature would transcend mere pedestrian seasonal coupling. He would engage in something ever so much more transcendent, so magnificent, so nonpareil, it could only be



Specific responses to specific comments follow the following comments:(Follow me?)

Scott said...
I guess Frank got his birthday wish.
Linda said...
The girls actually know you have sex? Wow, good for you. I'm still not even sure whether my parents have ever had sex.
Just out of curiosity... uh, dinosaur sex?
Ronnie said...
Scott - No comment. :-)
Linda, actually what struck me was the hot dinosaur sex. That's Frank, always aiming high.
Scott said...
Has something to do with old bones doesn't it?
Linda said...
Yeah, it took me a while to make the connection, which I will say in my defense was because I don't consider you and Frank to be exactly old. ;)
Stephanie said...
How sweetly Jurassic! You're not going to lay eggs now, are you?! ;-)
Zenmomma said...
I now have images in my head that will probably never go away. :-o

So my general explanation above should have quelled any assumption that HDS has any relationship to agedness, in any respect, in my conceptualization as creator of the phrase. As the reader, you of course are free to impose any interpretation you can imagine. Enjoy. Besides, while I may be getting up there, Ronnie is certainly nowhere close to old. Bones as hard as rocks is an image which seems to me to go with this thought scheme; but, again, that was not something I originally conceived or pursued.

To Zenmomma: Darlin', you're the one who read the phrase "overpriced brake job" and found it to be prurient. I am, therefore, absolutely certain that your imagination could go to fascinating places with "hot dinosaur sex." Enjoy the adventure in the convoluted depths of your right brain! I'd kinda like to be a pair of eyes peering over your mental shoulder for that one! Or at least watching on an fMRI.

To Steph: Actually your comment spins my brain in an interesting direction. When I was a kid, one of my favorite series was Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars books. (ERB is the guy who wrote the Tarzan books.) I identified significantly with John Carter. He was uncomfortable in Earth society, an excellent swordsman, and completely inept around women; but what's important to this discussion is this: When he winds up on Mars, aka Barsoom, he eventually hooks up with Deja Thoris, princess of the kingdom of Helium. Now, Deja is a member of the "red Martian" race and the way they express their commitment is for the guy to call the girl "my princess" and for the girl to call the guy "my chieftant." Ain't dat sweet? But more to the point of your comment, they lay eggs! So, who knows? Maybe if Ronnie (my princess!) has some red Martian blood in her our next child might be born from an egg.

Could happen. Maybe it doesn't even take Barsoomian DNA. Look at Castor and Pollux, born from (You guessed it!) an egg hatched by Leda after Zeus "visited" her as a swan. Hey! Waitaminit! Let's follow that thought to its logical conclusion. If birds are dinosaurs and Zeus was a bird (dinosaur) then he and Leda were actually having HDS! Wow! Classically awesome!

Furthermore, Ronnie is at least as desirable as Leda and I hope I'm as divine as a freaking swan. Nasty creatures. And we have HDS; therefore, it gets more possible with each passing sentence that we could maybe, possibly reproduce oviparously. Dude! That's so cool!

When Zeus, incarnate as an ostensibly preternatural and otherworldly-looking cygnoid, was searching for her, I wonder if he demanded of the locals, "Take me to your Leda!"

At this point, I desperately wanna work in a joke about "Leda-hosen" but that might be over the top. Whatcha think?

There's a movie due out 2012ish, working title "John Carter of Mars." I do NOT have high expectations. I admit I do have high hopes.

John and Deja look like they're ready for some egg-producing HDS, don't they?

I'll leave you with one, final twist. In the late '80s, Dr. Robert Bakker wrote a book called "The Dinosaur Heresies" in which he proposed this thought experiment. Some pterodactyls (specifically pterodaustro) occupied a niche similar to that occupied by present-day flamingos. Flamingos are pink because of their diet. Pteros ate a similar diet. Therefore,

she's a witch! BURN HER!!!!

Sorry. Terribly sorry. I seem to have somehow accidentally jumped proofs and used a deduction from an entirely different set of axioms. Maybe it was the heresy bit that confused me. Or something. I dunno. Here's where I meant to go:

Therefore, is it not possible, or even likely, that pteros might also have been pink? Imagine standing at sunset on a West-facing beach under a Cretaceous sky the color of a perfectly-prepared tequila sunset cocktail as a flock of exquisite pink terries swoops by! Beautiful enough to make you cry.

Thus we add the variant HOT PINK DINOSAUR SEX aka HPDS. And with the flying connection, I'm thinking HPDS mile-high club, huh? Oh yeah!

So whether you prefer HDS or HPDS, I hope that now you're all satisfied. I know I am!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

This and that about me (and you?)

Arun recently posted an interesting meme on his blog. He also linked it to one he did a while back. I'm combing the two of them here. Feel free to post yours in the comments section or take it home with you and post it there. If you do take it with you, please leave me a comment so I can find yours. Begin:

“I live in…” Seattle area
“The last time I had a huge belly laugh with my child(ren) was when…” I told them that their mom and I were gonna have “hot dinosaur sex” for my birthday.
“My mother would often tell me…” You can’t hear with your mouth open.
“To be the sort of parent I aspire to being, I find myself becoming more…” relaxed.
“If I had a two-week, fully-paid holiday with absolutely no responsibilities and no kids, I would…” Only two weeks? We typically take MUCH longer vacations than that. Well, *with* the kids. However, to simply answer the question: I guess I’d like to repeat our honeymoon, when my wife and I spent two weeks sailing out of St. Martin (in the Caribbean) alone on a lovely Nautor-Swan sailboat. Ahhhhhh…
“A book that profoundly impacted on my life is…” The Bible was foisted on me as a kid. My life was profoundly impacted when I realized it was a bunch of crap.
“I secretly would like to…” Hmmnn, I dunno if I have any “secret” wishes; they’re all pretty much open and shared. I’ll answer “go into space” cuz that’s my dearest, unfulfilled personal wish.
“At my funeral I want…” a seriously great party with a kick-ass rock band, great Cajun food, and a hosted bar filled with top-shelf booze. All the good-looking women [and they're ALL good-looking, especially when you're dead] will take a turn dancing with me (my ashes in an urn, that is). Come morning, after a long night of partying when everybody is mostly too drunk to stand, they put my ashes in a radio-controlled sailboat, douse it with gasoline, and give me a “Viking funeral.” Ronnie, MJ, and Chloe will shed a tear or two as I blaze my way toward the sunrise horizon [Isn't that just like me to go East when you're *supposed* to "go West"?] but mostly they’ll laugh about all the good times we had. That ought to do it.

And the other half (previous one):

“I am…” the Walrus. Koo-koo, ka-choo! Sorry; I couldn't resist. I'm really more like the Carpenter. Oysters are yummy in either case.
“Right now I am in…” –sane. Tomorrow's forecast: idem. But we're having fun, so what the heck?
“Most people do not know that I…” [Updated 1/10 in ALL CAPS] USED TO generally believe that I'm a failure and a total waste of perfectly good oxygen BUT HAVE SINCE REALIZED THAT I'M A WORTHWHILE, HAPPY PERSON, DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH MY FAMILY.
“I am passionate about…” eradicating willful ignorance. I have no anticipation of success but it's something I feel.
“Decades from now, when my children think of me, I hope that they remember…” that I love them. Everything else is inconsequential.
“My soul feels warm and I have a big smile when I remember…” quiet, intimate times with my wife and daughters. (sigh!)
“If I could go back in time and give one piece of advice to myself when I was 18 years old it would be to…” stop listening to others and societal expectations *right now*. Take some time and just *think*. Follow your (my) heart.
“I think that the most important thing about life is…” experiencing it.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Speaking of pseudoscience redux

Ronnie challenged me to do this Taurus list (I assume) in preference to the April one I blogged here.

Ok. Here goes:

disciplined Nope
hard-working Nope
good sense of humor Yep
prudent Hmmmnnn. I'll say yep in the context of thoughtful about decisions and actions, not jumping into things without thinking first.
great work-ethic Nope
artistic Appreciate art in all its forms but have no personal talent whatsoever. Nope
loving Yep
creative Kinda
romantic Kinda
sensual Yep
Very sexual Yep
attentive Yep
comforting Yep
strong Physically, mentally, emotionally? Yep, yep, nope
steady Consistent, anyway
introverted Yep
organized Yep
cautious Yep
harmonious Yep
trustworthy Yep
calm Yep
tenacious Yep
stable Yep
patient Yep
resourceful Nope
easygoing Yep
careful Yep
dependable Yep
honest Yep
conservative Fuck no!
determined Yep
loyal Yep
protective Yep
practical Yep
controlling Nope
stubborn Yep
gets stuck in ruts Yep
resentful I dunno. I'll go with Yep
possessive Yep
overindulgent Yep
jealous Sometimes
overly self-conscious Yep

If you eliminate the synonyms, those "yeps" become a far smaller number than they seem to be at first glance.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Weekend, Earth Day, Baseball, Climate Change

Wow! What an impressive list of topics to cover in one post! (grin)

Well, I was gonna compose a post about this weekend but others already did it better than anything I could spew so just read all about it here and here and here. Basically, it was a swell time and I'd love to do it again. Soon.

So, here's another topical bloggable topic: Earth Day. For Earth Day, Ronnie and I had a date to a Mariner's baseball game while the girls indulged in their version of "Home Alone!" I love the M's and I love their new(ish) stadium. Interestingly, in celebration of Earth Day, they played the first-ever carbon-neutral major league baseball game. And the M's won. Cool!

We had a nice time, watching the game and eating overpriced ballpark food. A divine American experience.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Yikes! It ain't even 'cane season yet!

A friend in New Orleans just sent me this photo which was taken a coupla days ago.

It's the Mississippi River levee near Williams Blvd. which is in the suburbs a bit West (upriver) of downtown New Orleans.

Eek! I think it's time to open the spillway, dudes.

Speaking of pseudoscience

I know many of my readers love to play with astrology and similar amusements. (Is there a phrenologist in the house?) I recently saw this meme and had to steal it just to show how idiotic this crap is, especially given that this is my birth month and it seems somehow appropriate. Basic meme is here.

Active and dynamic. Opposite.
Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Opposite.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Opposite.
Strong mentality. Yep.
Loves attention. Kinda.
Diplomatic. Sometimes.
Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Yep.
Brave and fearless. Opposite.
Adventurous. Yep.
Loving and caring. Yep.
Suave and generous. Opposite. Yep.
Emotional. Opposite.
Aggressive. Opposite.
Hasty. Opposite.
Good memory. Sometimes.
Moving. Opposite.
Motivates oneself and others. Opposite.
Sickness usually of the head and chest. Ok, sure. The same place everybody gets colds and flu, ya mean?
Sexy in a way that only their lover can see. Yep cuz that really means "not sexy," right?

Not only do I not conform closely to this list but 50% of my answers are precisely "OPPOSITE"! Yes, I'm April, Taurus, Rat and that means about as much as the fact that my birthday is the same as that of U. S. Grant, possibly the most inept president in history, Sandy Dennis, what an actress - not!, and only 7 days after another famous Taurus, Adolph Hitler.

I believe a more sophisticated astrological assessment than just "taurus" would reveal that I have my mojo rising and my moon is sticking out the car window.

Now that does sound more like me!

And "No!" I don't want to know anything about Uranus! Myanus is in my (out-the-window) moon and I'm hoping there are no Klingons anywhere!

Monday, April 14, 2008

I don't understand it

It's not even "science," it's just common sense. Isn't it?

I have an aunt I dearly love (and I even like her, too!), so, in the interest of protecting the innocent, I won't use her name here; but, together with her husband, there's some mojo working there. 'nuff said for those who are au courant. Anyway, my poor, nameless aunt is constantly bombarded with e-mails of the spamish variety and she's gotten to the point where she sometimes uses me as her testbed of veracity for this crap when she can't find it herself on snopes. You know the stuff I'm talking about:

Microsoft will pay you $5 for every e-mail you send/forward/receive.

I am an important person in Gondwanaland and need *you* to help me move zillions of dollars and for your trouble you can keep a few-odd million.

A guy has invented a new way to combine hydrogen and oxygen and you can run your car 100 miles on one cup of water using his device attached to your engine.

Don't ever call the 809 area code; it's a trap.

The earth is less than 10,000 years old. Oh, wait. That one goes into my religious stupidities diatribe to be posted at some other time. Ignore it for now.

Anyway, you get the idea.

When she asks me about this sort of thing I usually send her some personal comments with a coupla links to a snopes article or a scientific refutation of the (idiotic) idea contained in the specific e-mail and then I forget about it. But I got to thinking about it the other day and the more I thought about it in general, the more it became for me an(other) indictment of our system of education. Kids are taught to listen, obey, memorize (seemingly random) facts, etc. and they are never taught to question or ask why. Or perhaps I should phrase that "they are taught to never question or ask why." There's a significant difference between those two phrases and I think the latter is, unfortunately, more accurate.

Kids certainly aren't taught logic, even in its basic forms, much less in any kind of rigorous way. Science is reduced to painful memorization of the aforementioned (seemingly random) factoids and the occasional lame-ass, meaningless, nonsensical lab experiment. Math… well, read my 3-part math rant on this blog or just take this guy's comments to heart:

I hope, in time, more emphasis will be put on the abstract side of mathematics. Drills contain no knowledge. At best, after sweating on multiple variations of the same basic exercise, we may come up with some general notion of what the exercise is about. At worst, the sweat and effort will be just lost while the fear of math will gain a stronger foothold in our consciousness. Moreover, if it's possible at all for a layman to acquire an appreciation of math, it's only possible through a consistent exposure to the beauty of math which, if anywhere, lies in the abstractedness and universality of mathematical concepts. Nonprofessionals may enjoy and appreciate both music and other arts without being apt to write music or paint a picture. There is no reason why more people couldn't be taught to enjoy and appreciate math beauty.

Math beauty, y'all. Believe it. It's true. I love the beauty of a fabulous work of fine art or a magnificent natural panorama or a dazzling, green-flash sunset; but the beauty of a scientific or math concept can be just as breathtaking. But I digress. How unusual.

Here's the thing. We have in the popular lexicon such concepts as:
TANSTAAFL. The wonderful pseudoGerman word which is actually an acronym - There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see.
If you see the teeth of a lion, don't think he's smiling at you.
If it sounds too good to be true, [Completion of this sentence is left as an exercise for the student.]

So, why is it that we're soooooo ready to believe conmen who seek to fleece us with claims which are patently ridiculous? Are we really that greedy? Does greed trump common sense to such an extent that we're willing to throw dangerously large chunks of our income at these charlatans, despite our (hopefully) deep-seated knowledge that their concept is a complete scam? Or are we societally so deficit in knowledge, common sense, and logic that these claims actually do seem reasonable?

I hope that's not true but it certainly seems to be. Old time street conmen have always said that you can't cheat an honest man; they work with the greed in people. I can think of examples where that's not entirely true but it seems to be generally accurate.

Let's consider the $5/email spam. The spam says you'll get $5 from my delightful former boss billg for every email you send or forward. Really? Ya think? How is this *possibly* believable to anyone? Well, obviously it is because this stupid thing circulates with great regularity. Ok, so let's put aside the common sense that MS doesn't seem to have testers on the payroll and is willing to pay everybody in the freaking world $5 for each and every email as a test of something-or-other. Even if we accept that ridiculous premise, we then bump up against the second problem with this idea. I'm not asking for math geniuses here but, I mean, haven't people heard the parable of the grain and the chessboard? There's not enough money in the entire fucking world to make this kind of payout. Forget poor Bill and his mere billions.

That's blindingly obvious to me. Why isn't that the case for the unwashed proles who forward this crap? Well, again, that's how all those vile multi-level marketing things work and the con artists doing them rake in tons of cash on the backs of the math-ignorant savages beneath them in the pyramid. Sometimes they go to jail but they often simply melt away with their ill-gotten gains. Shameful. It's kinda like the old joke about the lottery: It's a tax on the math-impaired.

I sometimes cruelly feel that if you're so greedy as to fall for such a scheme, you deserve to lose your shirt. And home. And everything else of monetary value. Speaking of homes, a slightly parenthetical comment: If you're losing your home because you can't make your mortgage payment because you got one of those "fabulous" sub-prime deals and now your buzzards are coming home to roost, don't whine to me. Fuck you. You, too, *deserve* to lose everything. I do not want my tax dollars going to dig you out of your greed-driven jam.

The "important person in Gondwanaland needing to move lotsa money" is the online version of the pigeon drop. Again, greed trumps common sense but at least there's no bad science involved.

Ahhhh, and that brings me to the "scientific breakthrough" scams which violate basic laws of science but people still buy into them. Here's a hint: you CANNOT violate scientific law. It ain't like a speed limit law which you can break at will and simply pay a fine when caught. Not even the mighty and powerful state legislature of Indiana can square the circle or redefine pi.

Let's talk specifically about the laws of thermodynamics. They're always on the job. No excuses, no exceptions, no holidays, no workarounds. Yes, I include Maxwell's demon in that injunction, mischievous boy that he is! So, when somebody claims to have invented a new way of extracting/producing energy which gets more out of the system than is put in, he's full of shit. Period. If he tries to sell you a perpetual motion machine or a cheap device which changes water into seemingly-limitless power using your car battery, run! If you're too old or tired to run, well, at the very least, do NOT give him any of your hard-earned money.

It's not something which has been suppressed by "big oil" or the Illuminati and I'm pretty sure that the trilateral commission has clean hands when it comes to this one. These types of "scientific breakthroughs" are "suppressed" (NEGATED) by actual scientific laws. Sorry. Can water be used as a fuel or power source? Sure; but let's be precise about our use of terms here. Water injection into Otto cycle engines has been around for decades as an adjunct/assist to the "normal" gas/air combustion process. Water can even be the source material for a fuel cell. Remember, however, that we can NEVER violate the laws of thermodynamics. Any/all processes cost energy. And you can never get more energy out of a system than you put in. Never.

Even the chimera of cold fusion would not violate the laws of thermodynamics, although it would be a source of very efficient energy production. However, so far cold fusion efforts have done nothing but gain a reputation as pathological science. Remember the famous Mormon duo back around 1990? They fled to France in the early 90s after that debacle. Just like the water-as-cheap-fuel cons, they were not suppressed by "big oil," the Illuminati, or the jealous hot fusion hooligans. (Plasma! It's the actual fourth state of matter as opposed to pseudoscientific claims made by many conmen.) And I think the trilateral commission was on a break for that one. They were cons, perhaps self-deluded cons, who should have published in The Journal of Nonreproducible Results and who were "suppressed" (NEGATED) by actual scientific law. Sorry, Charlie. Or, in this case, sorry, Martin and Stanley.

Moral of this post? Jeeze! Do I gotta have a MORAL? Remember who you're talking to. Ok, hmmmmn, howzabout:

Think once in a while, fer Christ's sake!
Don't fuck with Science. You'll lose.
Fact-check before you reach for your checkbook.
Greed is bad.
Or maybe just: TANSTAAFL!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Life meme

Stolen from Laura.

1. What is something you have learned in the last 6 months?
When helium-4 is cooled below 2 K (0 K is absolute zero), it becomes a superfluid and it will climb up the sides of the container. Now I've know about this behavior for years; but what I recently learned is that this odd behavior is a Clausius-Clapeyron relation which is inexplicable by "normal" physical models and can only be understood as a phenomenon of quantum mechanics. That's pretty fucking cool.

2. Name the last food you tried for the very first time. Did you like it?
Maison d'or sauce, like they used to serve at Antoine's. It was pretty tasty.

3. If money, time, responsibilities, and obligations were not considerations, what would your life look like right this minute?
I'd be sitting in the cockpit of my Lagoon 42 (sailing catamaran) named Schrodinger's in the middle of a pleasant multi-day trip from my home on St. Croix. And my dinghy would have the name "Live Cat" painted on the port side and "Dead Cat" on the starboard. And the staterooms would be labelled Quantumstateroom 1, Quantumstateroom 2, etc. And I'd call the saloon The Hilbert space. And all the electronics would be hung from bra-kets. And... well, I guess I'll stop there. I don't wanna beat the theme to death. (grin)

4. Working within your limitations, what things could you do to create some of the feelings you would expect to have if you were living your dream life?
Within my limitations? Limitations? Hey! What kinda lame-ass meme is this? Did the Scientologists originate it or something? If you're not living your dream life, you're doing it wrong. Maybe you're not currently doing the precise *activity* you'd enjoy engaging in; but you sure as hell better be living your life cuz if you're not, then you're living someone else's life. That sucks.

5. Is there a current goal on which you are working?
Helping the girls reach their maturity/independence.

6. What is one thing you could get up and do right this minute to put you closer to your goal?
Stop doing this meme and hang out interact with the girls.

7. Is there something stopping you from doing that one thing right this second?
Just finishing this question. See ya! Hey, girls, whatcha doin'?

Friday, April 04, 2008

What time is it?

It's time for some more math jokes! And I'm also feeling kinda childish today (Yeah! What else is new?) so let's have a coupla math/elephant and math/grape jokes. Hold on to your hats; here we go!

Q. Whaddaya get when you cross an elephant with a mouse?
A. Elephant mouse sine theta.

Q. Whaddaya get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber?
A. You can't. A mountaineer is a scaler. (Scalar, get it? Man! Those math dues are a crackup.)

Q. Whaddaya get when you cross a mountaineer with a mosquito?
A. You can't cross a scalar with a vector. (Wow! A math plus medical joke! Now, that's some kinda cool!)

Q. What's purple and commutes?
A. An abelian grape.

Q. What's purple, commutes, and has a limited number of worshippers?
A. A finitely venerated abelian grape.