Saturday, May 16, 2009

5 worst movies meme

Ok, so several friends are doing this on FaceBook. I don't like FB apps, so I'm just gonna do it here. I also find it interesting that there are lists of top movies which have large numbers, like the "Top 250," but with worsts I'm limited to 5. Ha! No I'm not. I'm just gonna list a few of my least favorites.

First, lemme say that this is a list of movies I've actually seen (or walked out of, at least). There are a number of movies I simply have not watched because I knew they'd be horrendous, e.g. Battlefield Earth. Those are not included in this list.

In alphabetical order (letter-by-letter, numbers and special characters first):

These ones is not our preciouses. We hates 'em forever. Gollum!

300 I loved Sin City. However, this big, lame, stinky turd is an entirely different matter.

Big Fish Sorry. I guess I just didn't get it. Pedestrian and boring.

Boat Trip I used to like Cuba Gooding. What happened?

Children of Men Nonsensical. Some of the action scenes were ok but the "plot" and concept were… well, nonsensical.

Deer Hunter Christopher Walken was good. Everything else was horribly overdone. Well, Walken was, too, but he made it work.

The Duellists One of the few movies I've ever walked out on. Deadly dull.

Fight Club A lotta people really like this movie. I found it idiotic and it got worse when they revealed the "surprise" ending. Fight club is for pussies.

Gigli 'nuff said.

The Green Berets Vile, pro-VietNam War propaganda piece by the notorious draft dodger, John Wayne.

Grindhouse Yes, I loved Pulp Fiction and El Mariachi - much more than Desperado - but this drive-in homage was worse than anything I saw when there actually were drive-ins showing grade Z movies.

Lawrence of Arabia
Waaaay too self-aware and self-indulgent for my taste and I have a soft spot for war movies and sand-and-sandal epics.

Miami Vice I was a fan of the tv show. It was perfect in its own perverse context. This movie was like an emo version. A bad emo version.

Pluto Nash When a firm director has control of Eddie Murphy, he can be good. When he's free to do his own thing, this is the result.

Se7en I just don't get it. This movie was thinly plotted, poorly acted, and, worst of all, ill lighted. I could barely see anything in any scene. Artsy? I guess. Enjoyable? Not so much.

Star Wars 3 Maybe 2, also. And 1 wasn't all that wonderful.

Titanic I agree with the reviewer who commented that it took less time for the actual sinking than for this movie's run time.

Troy Ack! I tend to love sword-and-sandal epics with very little reservation, but this… Oh, dear Gawd!

Anything with Jerry Lewis

Anything with Will Ferrel

Anything with Ben Stiller

Anything with Adam Sandler, except Happy Gilmore

Anything with Michael Keaton, except Night Shift

Anything by Tim Burton, except Ed Wood, a nearly perfect movie

Anything by Sam Raimi, except Spiderman (Evil Dead series? Please!)

Pretty much any remake, e.g. The Thing, The Day the Earth Stood Still, etc. I rest my case.

Pretty much any sequel, except Aliens

1 comment:

  1. Anything with Ben Stiller? Oh, but I loved Keeping the Faith - one of my favorite movies! Glad to see Star Wars on your list - people are always so surprised that I don't like Star Wars (walked out on the first one, so I haven't seen any of the others).